Warzone
by mamika
Summary: for once, title says everything. they are in war. who knows who gets hurt. and how much. but, just to spoil it, it will have a happy end.
1. Chapter 1

Yes, I figured it was a good idea to start another multi chapter thingy. fourth one ongoing. really smart of me. but don't worry, I will not stop writing any of the other ones. it's juts I need to get these images out of my head. but, this is my poor idea and description of war. if Kai's thinking seems a bit jumping, it's because being around explosions does that to me. makes thinking odd. please do forgive all the errors you see. which means you have to forgive a lot. but, no one forces you to read it, so maybe you can not read the next chap. I suggest that. I bet this is plain bad. if that wasn't a warning enough, don't knwo what is. read on your own risk

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WARZONE

Chapter I

Kai couldn't help it. He was shivering, but it wasn't just because of the wet sweaty clothes, or the blowing wind. It was because of what was going on. He could not only hear the blasts, he was feeling them too, the pressure waves hitting is body and making him press his face against the ground just so he wouldn't get up and run away. He could feel the waves with his every cell, and each blast made him feel like throwing up and fearing his heart would stop. And pressing the face down helped not to see the blast itself, the flames and flying earth. He recalled how he had thought in the rookie camp that blowing stuff was cool, and the blasts were awesome. But now when the situation wasn't under control and he had seen what the bombs and mimes could really do, he hated the explosions. He had seen the damage done by a small mime to a person. To Brian to be more accurate. He wasn't sure could Brian be considered a lucky one since he hadn't stepped on the thing, since he had been close. Maybe too close, he hadn't heard from the guy afterward. He swallowed hard, there was a bitter taste in his mouth. It was played clearly in his mind, the sight of Brian laying on the ground, clutching his leg, or more to the point what was left of it. Because his left leg had been blown of around the knee. It had bled a lot, and he wasn't sure if the guy had made it to surgery in time. But what was worse than the blood, was Brian's face. The lilac haired man had always tolerated pain well, and wasn't one to show anything on his face. But this time Brian had been crying, and his face had been etched with pain and fear. The desperate look in Brian's eyes had made him want to look away, but it could have been the last time they saw each other, so he had tried to give him a comforting and calming look back, telling him he would make it.

He shook his head. He couldn't give in like this. He had to make through this without loosing his posture, because he had Tala to look after. The redheaded little fellow had taken Brian's injury a lot worse. Tala apparently hadn't really realized that people would really get hurt here, that they could really die on any second. They couldn't sleep well, because the enemy was getting closer and they were constantly attacked. Whether it was men on food, a tank, or airplanes, they needed to grab their guns and run to their commanded points where they should shoot the approaching enemy, or simply hide from the air attack beneath trees. God, it would have been easier few decades ago, before the heat cameras and such were invented. Now the enemy could target their tents if they kept the fireplace warm. And no matter how dark it would be, the night goggles would give a clear picture. An explosion interrupted his thinking. He forced himself to look up, and crawl onward, away from the shelter behind the rock, so he could see where the enemy was. A deafening blow and bright light blinded him, and made his ears ring. The tank had fired really close, but lucky him it had been downhill from him, so the shrapnel didn't hit him

"Kai! Kai, are you okay?" he heard Tala's sweet voice, full of fear and panic. But it was still distant, he could hardly hear it through the ringing, and his brain was still too confused by the blast to react to the call. Then he felt someone by his side, a trembling hand touching his shoulder

"Dear god, Kai, please answer me". He hadn't realized he had been face against the ground, helmet a bit knocked to the side. Carefully and still a bit disoriented, he lifted his head and tried to look at Tala. But all he could see was bright lights and spots. He blinked a few times, and in that while Tala had taken a surprisingly strong hold from his clothes and dragged him back behind the rock. When they were both safe from the direct firing, Tala helped him sit up back against the rock.

"It's alright" he mumbled, his voice sounded weird to his own ears. Btu he wanted to calm Tala down. After a while he got his vision close to normal, and what he saw was really worried Tala crouching right in front of him. He reached out a hand and caressed the dirty cheek in front of him.

"It's alright" he whispered, and the blue eyes were filled with tears, and a sob escaped.

"I was so afraid...I feared I would loose you, and I know I couldn't take that.."he moved his hand around Tala's shoulder and pulled the other close, taking the shaking form into a tight embrace. Relationships weren't really allowed, but in this hell, it didn't matter. Besides, no one cared anymore about the rules, it was hard enough to stay alive, so any little comfort was allowed. While he held Tala, feeling the rugged breaths against his chest, he wondered how things gad went so wrong. They had joined the force, he, Tala and Brian, because Brian wanted to make it his career, and they had done everything the three of them, and the situation had been calm when they started, no sign of oncoming war. But few months after they had started, the situation had gotten tense, and soon a war was started between their country and neighbor country. They were close to equal in size and technology, which meant the war would go on for a while, until some outer country would intervene or one would give up. Which meant they would be stuck here killing and being killed very long indeed. He rubbed Tala's back, everything was worse on the redhead, he had always been the kind soul, surely pulling pranks to no end, but never intentionally hurting anyone. And now he was forced to pull the trigger and watch how people died because of him. And because Tala was also a people person, he knew most of the guys in their unit by first name, which was really rare in army. And he had to see how they were injured or killed too. Brian had been the worst of course, Tala had clinged to him ever since. Not that he minded, it was good to have the redhead under his watch, so he could make sure nothing happened to Tala. The poor fellow was in a bad shape, even when they managed to fall asleep, Tala would wake up screaming and then start crying. He was always there to take a hold of him, and pull him back down, quieting the shivers with his body even though he was hurting too. But even more than he wished he could get out of here, he wished he could get Tala out of here. The redhead has lost weight too, and it was a fight to get him eat something, because Tala would refuse to eat, or then he would throw up soon after. He hugged Tala a little tighter, and pressed his head against Tala's helmet. God he wanted to save his little redhead.

"I will never leave you, you know that" . The sobbing quieted and Tala pulled away, looking at him desperate and angry

"You can't say that, you can't promise something like that" the redhead hissed, but in the blue eyes he could see the pain and fear "you don't know when you get shot, when you step on a mime. Juts a moment ago, you could have been blown to pieces.." Tala broke out crying again, and he pulled the redhead close again, this time kissing those trembling lips

"I can. Because even if something happens, I would be by your side. I would protect you" he whispered against those lips, and kissed Tala again, softly and slowly. A cold hand came to his cheek, and even though it made him feel colder, he welcomed the touch. He lifted his hand and pressed Tala's hand between his cheek and hand, warming it up. He felt a small smile tucking on the redhead's lips.

"You are always so warm..." Tala mumbled and looked him into the eyes. He sighed, he really loved those pretty blue eyes, even now when they were so full of grief and regret "Wish I had done this a long while back.." with that, Tala pressed their lips together again, hungry for the warmth and pleasure. He wanted to give Tala everything he had to give, so he welcomed the tongue into his mouth. Then a blast landed near them again, and crouching Tala fell on his lap, and he reflectively caught the other and pressed him close to his body as in protection. When the blast was over, he draw a deep breath. He hated to do this

"Tala, we have to get going again. There is the tank and foot soldiers we need to destroy before it gets dark, otherwise we can't sleep at all this night." it made his heart ache when Tala didn't complain at all, it would have been more normal if there had been some whining and stuff. Instead the redhead just picked his gun and got off of him. Then the redhead crawled few meters to the side, back to where he had been before he came to check on him. When he watched Tala going, he feared his heart would break just because of the sight. Even though Tala was more vulnerable to the things they saw and did, he was doing better than he himself. He couldn't cry, he couldn't let any of the pain out, release the pressure. Tala had tried to help him let it out, but it had failed completely, ending up him yelling at the redhead. But Tala hadn't been offended, just hugged him and gave a little kiss on his cheek, saying he understood, and he would be there if he ever felt like talking. That itself had helped a little, knowing there was someone who would be with him. At least until one of them would die. He smirked bitterly and laid low too. The muddy wet ground didn't feel bad anymore, after the weeks crawling on it, nearly sleeping on it, it had numbed his body. There was a limit how much one could take, and nearly everyone was over the line already. But it couldn't be helped, they had no place to escape. He crawled back to his shooting point, saw the enemy soldiers sneaking closer, thinking that now when they hadn't shot a single bullet in a while, they would be dead. The smirk still on his face, he aimed to the soldier closest to him. If he would be fast enough, he could kill too before the enemy realized they were under a fire, and ducked to safety. He pulled the trigger once, and a shot rung. He aimed again, and this time there was multiple shots. So Tala was in position too...there was a horrible scream, and he knew they bought have hit their marks. But one of the bullets hadn't hit well enough, leaving the soldier bleeding to death. The screaming got more desperate, and he knew the time was running out. But there was nothing anyone could do, if the enemy would try to go to help, they would be shot too. Slowly the screaming calmed down, apparently the guy realized the help wasn't coming. He had seen this happening before, so when there was a wobbly figure trying to stood up, he took aim. He had agreed with Tala that the redhead should not take this shot, because this it wasn't a nice job. He slowly pulled the trigger, and he saw how the bullet hit the guys chest, whose stomach was already all bloody, meaning he would have died soon anyway. But it did little to ease his guilt. This was the hardest shot to make, because of the look of the enemy. The soldier new he was dead man, so the expression was according to it. And the knowledge that that would most likely be the way he would die too, made all seem pointless.

They had been called out of their spot for a break, and new men were on their place. Tala was oddly quiet, but luckily he did eat, so he decided not to poke it right now. Later when they were ready to have a few hours sleep, Tala came next to him and he wrapped a hand around the slim body. Tala quickly snuggled closer and sighed.

"Kai, do you think we will get out of here?". He didn't want to say what he believed, so he stayed silent. Tala sighed "I think so too. Which makes me regret few things. I wonder why I never admitted how much I liked you back in the normal world" he smirked a little. It was bittersweet, Tala's way to refer the past. It nearly made all this sound like a book or a movie.

"I love you" he said quietly. It wasn't the first time he said it, but it could always be the last one. Tala knew this too, and pressed a head against his chest and sneaked a hand around him, squeezing him hard

"I love you too. And that's what I regret" he snorted and lifted and eyebrow

"Is that so?" Tala gave a soft but tired laugh

"That's not what I mean. I meant not doing anything about it sooner. We could have had everything. Even if there would be a war, we could be together, helping to protect our land there, not here getting us killed and dirtying our hands in blood. And Brian wouldn't be injured either." they were silent for a while. "and we could have done all kind of fun things, not just going to movie and eating an ice cream."

"Big dreams you have.." it was a bad try, but in their situation, he couldn't make any remarks. Tala shifted his head and breathed against his neck.

"No, my dreams are much bigger. What I wish is that I could have been with you a long time, feeling every bit of you.." with that, Tala kissed his neck, not minding about the dirt there. It did feel good, but it didn't matter.

"Tal, you know I would like to, but.." the redhead pulled away sighing, being too tired to pout

" I know. We better rest when we can. And we can't keep others up because of little fun" Tala laid his head back against his chest, and after few moments, the redhead was sleeping. One couldn't call it peaceful, no one slept peacefully here, with bombs going off and all the gunshots and grenades. But at least Tala was sleeping. He breathed in the smell of Tala's hair, although it smelled mostly of dirt and sweat. But deep down, under the gunpowder's stink, he could still make out the lovely scent of Tala. And with that in his nose, he dozed of too, to dream of shooting people and getting shot.

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honestly, what did you think? I dare not to guess, so please tell me. I could try to improve


	2. Chapter 2

I admit it. I am not good with Tala's pov. but it's still there. read if you really want to. I have no tools to stop you. but, it is longer chap than I said it would be. but it is still short. I hope you manage to live through it. read on, go ahead. am I using convert psychology? maybe. did I got the term correctly? no way in hell. anyway, have a blast.

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Chapter II

Tala woke up when the sound of battle grew more intense and more shots were fired. It took him a moment to realize where he was, but the warm body right next to him gave him a good feeling for a while, before the reality hit him. Kai was sleeping on his side, both hands wrapped around him, pulling him as close as possible. He loved that, loved seeing how much Kai cared for him, but it also made him feel bad. He could see Kai was fighting for him, doing more than his share just so he wouldn't have to do so much. There was dark blue circles under Kai's eyes, and Kai was really pale too. And he could see how much Kai hated the explosions, even now while sleeping Kai would flinch when something blew up closer to their camp. He sighed quietly, trying not to wake the other up. Surely he didn't sleep well either, he did have bad nightmares, but it was harder on Kai, who was always on the call for helping him calm down. How much more alert Kai had to be all the time. And while he himself didn't have much appetite, Kai wasn't eating well either. currently he was forcing the food down just so Kai would eat and not worry over him. It was ridiculous, the more Kai worried about him, the more he was worried about Kai. He feared Kai would do something stupid just to save his life, and for the world he didn't want to be the reason why Kai would get killed. So, he was doing all he could to stay safe, not get hurt, and prove Kai he was alright. And it wasn't easy. He couldn't keep it all in, but at least crying and letting it all out did help, it got the images out of his head for a while, cleared his head and helped him breath easier, he knew he didn't need to feel guilty, because there was nothing he could do differently. And he could always justify every shot, every grenade he threw. He threw them so the enemy couldn't shoot them, Kai or one of his friends. And he could keep doing it as long as needed, if it would keep them on the winning side. His face had been buried in Kai's chest, the place being all warm and dry, which was really rare and pleasant feeling, but he needed to see Kai's face. And there it was. The scowl, you could see more clearly by the day, and not only because the increasing amount of dirt on the face. It was also because there were lines forming, being here aged Kai way too early. He sneaked higher so he was face to face with Kai. Yes, the lines were there, filled with dirt. He reached a hand and tried to wipe the scowl away. Maybe it was juts dirt, maybe Kai wasn't really scowling. When his hand connected to the skin, Kai's eyes snapped wide open and hand grabbed his wrist

"What the..?" he smiled at the look of pure perplex that wiped the scowl away. Man, Kai looked so cute right after waking up. His heart ached little, he wish he could enjoy mornings with Kai in private, and with time. And that was the reason he could keep going, he wanted to have the future with Kai, he was not going to give up on it, no matter how bad the situation looked like.

"It's nothing, I just wanted to clean your face a bit." Kai chuckled, a sound he loved and sound he was willing to kill for.

"You realize it is pointless here? And I bet it is also impossible to clean anything here" he shook his head.

"It's not. I bet I could make your face shine"

"Yeah, right...". He was ready to prove his statement, and apparently Kai wasn't too grumpy for being woken up for nothing. So he went for it. Naturally, he didn't think the cleanest shine possible...

They pulled apart, and Kai was panting slightly. He smirked.

"Stop that, it doesn't fit you" Kai grunted, but the corners of his lips were twitching

"Try and stop me". And surely, Kai took on the challenge. If something, Kai wouldn't want to be inferior to him. So with this manipulation, he got exactly what he wanted. Kai's lips, still so soft, and the only thing around here without the taste of earth and gunpowder. He whimpered a little when Kai gently pushed his tongue into his mouth. He welcomed it, and was welcoming it immediately with his tongue. He knew that at home, it would have been rougher and much more intense, but here the softness and caressing were much better. He was searching for comfort and closeness, and he figured Kai was feeling just the same. Especially with the lack of any effort going further. He would have wanted to, he was curious to know how it would feel, and he didn't want to die without doing it with Kai. But that wasn't going to happen any time soon. Kai was giving too much in the battle, he really didn't have much energy for anything else. He made a promise to ease Kai's burden a little, even if it was for his own selfish reasons. It would still be good for his loved one.

"Kai, you don't have to look after me so much. I am not going to do anything foolish you know, I am not devoted to my country that much". Oh god, he feared his heart would stop. Kai actually smirked, the smirk he had always found really intriguing and mischievous.

"You are saying I should look at someone else instead of you?" he giggled and pretended to smack Kai's face. Kai took a hold of the moving hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it. "I can't do that. If I don't know where you are and what you are doing, I keep worrying about it, and I couldn't do anything else. I need to look after you." he shook his head and sighed. Okay, Kai was being a bit unstable. He had noticed it before, but it seemed he was the only thing keeping Kai going. And that made him worry what would really happen to Kai if he would get injured. He would be sent to a hospital with a good luck, but Kai would be left behind, all alone. How could he trust Kai could make it?

"Promise me one thing" there was a frown.

"What is it?"

"That no matter what happens to me, you promise to stay alive as long as you can. That you won't do anything stupid." now Kai shook his head determinately

"I can't do that." that was the answer he didn't want to hear, and he was about to comment, when Kai continued "Could you promise me that either?" he was silent, and finally looked away from the red eyes. Kai was right, he couldn't promise it. it was the future together that made him tolerate everything. "I thought so too. But I promise that as long as we are here, I will do everything I can to keep us together". He looked back into the red eyes, which were pained, most of the fire in them having faded away to give room to fear. It pained him to see his strong Kai like that¨, but even worse was that Kai tried to act like all was well. It helped him to pour stuff out, why couldn't Kai do it too? Maybe then they could be more relaxed together, the battlefield would stay a bit further away. But still, those eyes, even when being the color of the blood, were so beautiful to him. To those, he was willing to get drowned. He smiled a little at his own thoughts, maybe he was loosing his sanity too.

"Hey, are you still there?" he blinked.

"What?" Kai smirked. Again, he smiled brightly, that was a sight he would always carry in his heart. When in most need, it would give him strength.

"Nothing. You just completely spaced out." he blushed a little, he hadn't meant to do that.

"Sorry.." Kai brushed his cheek with his hand, and even smiled at him albeit just a little.

"I don't mind. But it looked like you weren't having nice thoughts." he reached closer and pecked Kai's lips.

"I wasn't. I wish we could get away from here" Kai shrugged

"Everybody hopes that." Their moment was interrupted when a soldier rushed into the tent.

"Hurry, everybody, get up, our groups on the right are trying to break through enemies lines, and for that we need to attack on this line." then the soldier run to the next tent, and they quickly hurried out of their sleeping bags and after pulling boots on, grabbed their guns and dashed out and towards the battlefield. Kai run faster than he did, and he could only watch Kai's back while they run, knowing Kai was shielding him right now, and hoping he would pay more attention to staying safe himself. He shivered too. He didn't really like shooting people, it made him nauseous. He swallowed, he could throw up later, right now he needed to do this, to make sure Kai wouldn't do too much. With determination, he sped up and managed to get to Kai's side

"Don't die" he didn't say it loudly, but Kai still heard, turning his head a little to look at him.

"I won't as long as you don't" he smiled a little and nodded. They would do this together and get through whatever was ahead of them.

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that's teh end of chap too. yes, there might be such a things as third chap. even if this isn't my best/greatest, whatever work so far. I know my grammar is bad. sorry about that. keep on frogiving me stuff. and if you feel like it, you can always give me stuff. like reviews. just saying. and now my free time is over (yeah, those who don't know me, you are left wondering am I in prison or what. I migh reveal it later. if I feel like it. anyway, the time is up.) bye


	3. Chapter 3

I thought I would leave this chap in a cliffhanger. but I had lost all my hangers, so it didn't happen. or tehn I juts say that, and make this into a horrible twist of things. who knows. I don't, the characters may know. but yes, a warning. this chap is not good. it felt odd to write, adn i bet it will be odd to read. if you still feel like it, read on

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Chapter III

They reached the front lines and ducked hastily. Kai hadn't figured the fight would still be so close, but then again they couldn't really start moving onward before they had enough men on the spot. He wanted to glance if Tala was still okay, but he couldn't really afford to look away from the enemy. So he just had to trust that the redhead could take care of himself right now. He saw some dark figures move in the dim night, and shot towards it. This was better, shooting in the dark, he had no way of seeing the enemy's face and see when the realization that they had been killed hit. He figured it was something he could never wipe away from his mind's eye, but at least right now he didn't have to worry about that too. Soon the command to move came, and he charged onward. After three steps, he dived down, crawled so he was partly protected by a tree trunk and aimed again at the enemy, and called Tala to proceed. Once Tala had come to his level, he charged again and so they moved. He recalled bitterly how he had in the rookie camp thought it was really stupid and ridiculous to crawl on wet ground and have so short charges. Surely one could run more than few steps before ducking, right? How foolish he had been, when bullets flew everywhere, you could hardly have the time for the few step charge, and it knowing how to charge and dive and soon after take the aim again were vital if one wanted to stay alive. And the whole group needed to move fast forward, or the enemy would have time to boogie trap their area and otherwise prepare for their approach.

"GO Kai!" he heard Tala's call, rushed up and tried to dash. Apparently he had been seen after his last duck, and once he was up, there was aimed fire at him. He gasped when a bullet scraped his shoulder, and ducked immediately. But because he had to go onward, he crawled onward, trying to get a shelter from the few tree trunks and bushes that were yet to be blown away. His heart was racing, and his arm throbbed. He was really afraid now, but what he could think was that the goal was onward, he had to reach it. Once he was in a good shooting spot, he called for Tala to move too. While he fired at the enemy, his head cleared a bit, and a chill run through his spine. Why had he called Tala to follow? He should have left the redhead to the so called safety of the background. The closer they got, the more desperate the enemy would be, and the more of them would get killed. Then he heard shots fired few yards from him.

"Kai, did you get hurt?"

"Just a little scratch, nothing serious."

"Wish I could believe on you on that"

"If it was serious enough, I would confess my undying love for you, not keep fighting onward." the enemy apparently had brought a cannon out, since there was a huge blast not far enough from them. In the bright flash of light caused by the ammo, he could see Tala lying on the ground, face all tensed and finger on the trigger. Tala was looking at him too, they changed a wary smile, and Tala nodded. He nodded back, and once it was dark again, which had only taken a split seconds, he got up and run. Once he was ready, he heard Tala coming after him, and tripping on something.

"You okay?" a silence that felt to last forever, and his blood was already running cold when the redhead answered

"Yeah, just fell over a...someone..." uh, that was nasty. He had been saved so far from falling over someone, but it couldn't be pleasant, especially now when you couldn't really tell what it was before you was face against it, or pushing yourself up with your hands. There was a bitter taste in his mouth, and he spat. How he wished he would wake up any minute and be back in his room.

It was already noon, when they had pushed through the enemy's lines and the enemy had retreated far enough for them to have a break. He sat panting under a tree, sweat pouring out from everywhere. He wanted to take the helmet away, it was hurting his head, but that was too dangerous, he could be taken out by a sniper any second. So all he could do to make himself feel better was rest his head against the tree and close his eyes, not moving a muscle. He had already partly dozed, when Tala came sitting next to him. He opened his eyes, and saw the sad smile Tala had on his face.

"You look horrible" the redhead commented.

"Thanks. Same goes for you" the redhead chuckled, and then got serious again.

"Show me your shoulder" he shook his head and closed his eyes again.

"No need to. Like I said, it's merely a scratch." not caring about his words, Tala got up a little and moved so he was able to touch and see the wound. There was a sigh of relief.

"Thank God you weren't lying. That probably doesn't kill you" he cracked an eye open and glanced the redhead

"Thanks Doc, I wouldn't have never figured that out myself"

"Oh, you are most welcome. After all, you are my favorite patience" he lifted an eyebrow

"Sounds like you would have many other patients" Tala laughed tiredly

"My wouldn't that make you jealous. But don't worry, you are the only one for me" he smiled at that.

"Kai, you know, I don't remember seeing you smile much while we were still kids. Why do you smile here" he opened both eyes and thought about it a while, looking at the blue sky

"I dunno. Maybe because I think you need to see smiling people. Not just agony and gloomy" the redhead gave him a kiss on the cheek

"Thanks. But now I fear that once we get out of here, every time I see your smile I will just think of this place" he smirked. It felt like a dream, to get out of here. And it was wonderful to hear Tala talking about it like it would be a fact they get away.

"Don't worry. I am planning on stopping it once we are back to normal. After all, it is not my thing to begin with" the redhead giggled, a sound that was so wrong to be in this environment.

"Okay, that makes me feel all better. But I like your smile too" he shrugged.

"You can't have everything"

"Yeah..." he turned his eyes from the blue sky, and into the blue eyes. There was something in the eyes, something they were yearning after, something pleading, but he couldn't tell what it was. And he didn't know how to ask what it was. He couldn't simply ask if everything was okay, because in here, that would be just absurd. So he did the best thing he could think of, and pulled the redhead back to sitting position, and pulled Tala close so his head was resting against his shoulder and the body was partly leaning on him, partly against the tree.

"Are you comfortable?" the redhead just nodded, shifting a little so he was more comfortable.

"Yeah. But doesn't this hurt your shoulder?"

"Don't be silly. You can't possibly hurt me" there was a silence, and he could feel the redhead was thinking something he shouldn't be. "Just sleep. It won't be long before we need to do something again."

"I know. You rest too, okay?"

"I promise."

"Good" luckily, it didn't take long before Tala was safely asleep. He listened the calm breathing, and sighed. It was good that Tala felt safe enough to fall asleep in his arms. So there was still a haven for the redhead. All was not lost as long as Tala would get enough rest, and avoid all the worst situations. And he was going to do his best to keep Tala out of the harms way. He did realize how stupid that train of thought had been, and he snorted lightly. The best he could do was watch Tala's back and make sure the redhead wasn't first one to enter new territory, who knows what kind of traps there would be hidden.

It had been a nice few hours, and then they were told they should go patrolling the area, to see if the enemy was hiding somewhere close, and check if there was something dangerous close, or something they could use themselves.

They were walking in circles, every round a bit further away from the camping area, where tents were being built. For their patrol, they were given the specialty of looking for mines, while others where searching for useful items and signs of enemy troops. They were walking with roughly eight yards distant, and for once, Tala wasn't right next to him. Some random officer had ordered them around, and Tala was on some other circle behind them, looking for traps in the eight yards gaps between his line. Suddenly he could hear a faint twinge, and before he had time to react, there was a loud bang on his right side and a pressure wave threw him backwards and the whole world went white, and distantly he felt how his body was slammed against something solid and a pain wave flashed through him before everything went dark.

"Chdainbw" the voice was very distant, and it sounded like he would be under water and the sounds were muffled by the body of water.

"Kai" he knew he was being called, and he wanted to open his eyes, but he couldn't do it. He heard many people talking, but he couldn't make out the words. Then a wave of laser sharp pain cut through him, and he whimpered. Someone grabbed his hand, and new wave of agony went through him, making him gag, someone helped him turn a little, and he could throw up without messing himself. The sour taste in his mouth helped him clear his head, and with a huge effort, he managed to open his eyes. But the world was so bright, he could only see white light and some dark figures.

"Kai, I was so afraid" he could hear those words, but it was mostly because the talked was hugging him, talking right into his ear. "Please don't leave me.." there was a sob, and he knew it was Tala right by his side, worrying over him. He was ashamed, he shouldn't cause worry to the cute little redhead. Experimentally he licked his lips to moist them up, and tried to talk

"So..rry" he managed to rasp out, and Tala pulled away a bit, wiping soot off of his face. He noticed his helmet wasn't on his head, and the air on his hair felt really good after so long. He tried cracking a smile, and Tala shook his head, tears falling down his cheeks, but there was a faint smile on the trembling lips too.

"I really won't like your smile in the real life."

"I know.." he tried nodding, but new pain wave hit him. With the speed of light, Tala got serious again.

"Where do you hurt? It is really amazing you didn't get more hurt. The guy..who triggered the bomb is nowhere to be found. The projectiles were really effective." so, that's what had happened. He did recall hearing the sound of a wire snapping...so someone had been enough stupid not carefully look before stepping forward. But he wasn't sure if it was so bad. At least the one had gotten away from here, and there was no need for him to struggle anymore. He on the other hand, was hurting like hell.

"More hurt eh.." he mumbled, and Tala softly caressed his cheek.

"Yeah. There is only few external wounds. Some on your handsome face." a finger carefully avoided certain spot on his face although it felt numb right now. " and then there is one bigger cut on your leg, but a doctor is coming to take a look at it, and make sure you are otherwise okay. But how are you feeling?" the blue eyes, that once only new laughter and joy, were now full of pain and worry. He was about to shook his head, but the hand on his face stopped him. "If it hurts, don't move. You can rest now you know. Even if there is no big problems, you can't be ordered to work right now." he frowned. He was not going to leave Tala's side, no way. Tala seemed to see what he was thinking, because he smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Really, I am not a five year old, I can look after myself fro a while. Besides, I promise I will be extra careful, okay? So don't worry, and rest. That way you can come to me quicker." he looked into the blue eyes for a while, but there was determination shining through, no sign of fear of dying. He sighed

"You have better be scratch free when I see you next time, okay?" Tala nodded and stepped aside and someone with the medical marks crouched on Tala's place. He wasn't pleased about that, but how else could the doctor check him up. So he didn't comment, just let the doc do his job, and answered his questions. He figured all was fine, since his vision was getting more normal by the minute, and his hearing was getting better too.

"You have damaged your eardrums and I really suggest you to be evacuated. Another close blast, and you most likely go deaf. And more good news, it seems you gained no internal damage, you are just bruised all over, and really sore for a few days." he let the info sink in, and then he sat up. Wow, he hadn't really realized he had been brought out of the forest and back to the camp. Or that he had been laying on a blankets.

"There is no way I am going home. I need to stay here and protect what is important to me" he noticed that Tala who had been standing close by was about to speak up, but he stopped him "No, no matter what, I am not leaving you. So if I can't leave with you, I won't leave at all." he faced Tala's glare dead on, and he wasn't going to give up. He will not leave. The doctor shrugged.

"Honestly, I think you are crazy" the doc looked at Tala "But I also kinda understand you. So if that's what you really want, the army really does need all the men it can have to fight, so you can stay here. You just won't get much as a compensation prize if you really go blind here. It is your fault in that case." he shrugged

"Whatever it takes. I am not leaving you, I have said it already." the doc nodded

"That's settled then. I have you resting on the tents for two days, and then you go back to the front line, okay?" he nodded, and the doc stood and helped him up and without looking at Tala continued

"Come help me to get your friend to rest. And I sign you as his nurse, make sure he really does rest and eats properly, okay?" Tala didn't but nodded and came to sneak under his other arm, so his weight was mostly on Tala and the doc to carry. if he hadn't felt so bad, he would have felt embarrassed by the treatment, but right now his legs wouldn't carry him. Just being up hurt like hell. He tried breathing calmly, not to show how much it really hurt. But Tala once again seemed to sense what was going on with him, and hold him a little closer and looking less scolding. Once they were in the tent, doc left and they were alone. Tala helped him lay down and get comfortable, and said

"You are stupid, you know that?" he smirked

"And you know I wouldn't get better if I had to leave you" Tala sighed.

"I know. You worry about me way too much. I wish you could at least get away from here"

"And I hope that exact same thing to you. So we are even. And before you complain more, would you leave me behind if our situation was reverse?" there was a deep silence and finally Tala shook his head

"I wouldn't. But I still think you are stupid." he reached out a hand towards the redhead who was still standing up.

"Then there is two of us" the redhead smiled sweetly and came to him, and careful not to hurt him, came to lay right next to him, warming him up and miraculously the worst edge of the pain disappeared. And soon he fell asleep, this time Tala being the one guarding their sleep and him being the one who was cradled in safe arms. And he liked that feeling for a chance, so he had his haven too, he thought before finally dreamless sleep took over.

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that's that. of you are a civil, there is probably a things that didn't quite make sense. but just skip those parts as an army thing, okay? or write a review and tell which parts sucked. or juts review and tell how your day was. because I hope it was good. and I hope reading this helped making it better.


	4. Chapter 4

short one I know. and it's in Kai's pov just so you know. it's rather boring, I know, but not that I mind. have fun. or something. a drink maybe?

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Chapter IV

He was back in the first days of the war, when everything seemed like a game and the distant blasts just excited him, not scared him. But when his company was called to the front lines, the expectation disappeared and doubt started pushing through. What were they really going to do, were they going to survive it? While they marched towards the front line, they were met by limping and bandaged soldiers.

"Welcome to hell" one of them said when they passed. His platoon exchanged glances, but no one bagged down. And Brian tried to talk some courage into them, how the enemy would have worse weapons than they did, and anyway they were much better fighters.

Then they were in position's, there were foxholes already dug, so they didn't need to see the trouble of making those. But maybe the work could have been better, since some of the holes were littered with metal pieces from grenades and other ammunition. But worse still was the dried blood in some, only way there could be so much of it meant someone was badly hurt, most likely dead. And the whole he got, there was still little pieces of someone. It had made his blood run cold, but he couldn't really do anything about it, since soon there was a warning of incoming fire. So he had no choice but to take cover on the bottom of the foxhole and hope that he had better luck than the guy previously occupying the place. The blasts landed near him, and dirt and soot fell over him. He was curled in a ball, praying for something he didn't even believe in to stop this. And after a while it did. He was still working to get his body follow the orders of his brain, when another call came

"Enemy ahead, shoot!" someone on his side was already shooting, and thanks to his pride he didn't want to be the only weak one who crumbled in the first attack, he rose to his feet, got his rifle and took aim towards the enemy line. And there were a lot of people to shoot. He started firing, watching how the enemy fell. He didn't know was it he who killed them or one of his comrades. But it didn't look too nice.

But it was getting more horrible. When the enemy was pushed back, they were told they should move forward, conquer the area. So they had to attack. Using fire and maneuver, something they had been thought million times and what had seemed ridiculous back then, was now deadly. Once when he dived down, he saw how someone was shot. He never had learned the guys name, but he still recognized the tall black haired guy from training. The guy didn't scream even though his hand was practically severed off by the intense fire the enemy was using to stop their advance. He didn't rush to the guy's help, because that would be a suicide, no one would attempt something like that, even thought it was said that injured ones should be attempted to safe. But he couldn't do that, not for a stranger. He already felt sorry for the guy, that fellow had been brave and proud and the fact he didn't call for help showed his determination on not getting others killed for his sake. He was about to get up and keep going, even though it probably meant he would meet same fate as the guy. But then he froze. A smaller, lender blond guy rushed from somewhere to the guy, and helped the guy up and moving. Seeing the bravery in that, and feeling ashamed on his own cowardice, he fired as much as he could as protective fire. But still, the enemy kept shooting, and the blond was hit too. The guy gave a little yelp, and his face paled, but he didn't let go of the unarmed fellow, but kept pulling him along. He could hear how the dark one ordered the other to leave him behind and safe himself, but the blond just shook his head and said something. He hoped that both could get to the medics and stay alive. But with new determination, he got up and moved onward. He was going to do his best too to safe his friends here, and that meant he should be willing to risk his life much more. He would prove that he wasn't any worse than those two.

Kai woke up when someone called his name

"Kai, hurry, we have been spotted and there is airplanes coming this way, we have to take cover" he nodded and started getting up. It hurt, and made him gasp a little. Tala was immediately next to him, supporting him and helping him up. "Be strong, we will get through this" he smirked

"I know, not like I would let you die as long as I breath." then he straightened up and grabbed his rifle. "I got your back, let's get going" Tala smiled at him and lead the way to closest fox holes.

When they were crouching in the same foxhole, he kissed Tala. It was fine, they were hidden from view, and who knew, maybe they would be dead in a matter of minutes. But the dream he had had, it was an old memory from the beginning. He hadn't heard from the two injured soldiers, but after that he hadn't been scared of getting hurt himself, he had realized he had much more to loose here than just his own life. He might loose his precious redhead. And those two were probably okay, he had seen much worse injuries and the people were still alive, so surely were those two. If it weren't for those, he might have broken in the beginning, and just cover in safe or run away, which weren't something he would be proud of. So, even though it had been shocking, he was grateful he had seen it. Maybe the teachers back in the rookie camp had been right, the brave example gave courage to everyone around. So, if he could do the same trick to make Tala feel less scared, he would be fearless too.

And when the blasting started, they bundled down together, protecting each others from the terror.

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random? yes. and foxhole is the whole dug by soldier to be safe from enemy's fire and where one can fire while being as safe as possible. in case someone is wondering. and yes, I know it should have been told in the beginning, but that would be predictable place, eh? besides, how many is really reading this? not many I bet. 'til next time.


	5. Chapter 5

after writing this, it seems this is close to end. although, I don't know how to end this...maybe this is the end...*shrug* time will tell.

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Chapter V

Tala could tell something had changed in Kai. There was this new calmness in him, and it wasn't just an act or a forced cover. It was just like Kai had been told they could really get out of here alive. And even though he couldn't make himself believe it, it made him feel a bit more at ease. Surely, the fact that Kai has just kissed him like there was nothing else in the world, it had relaxed him too.

They listened how the airplanes' sounds quieted down. When there were no sounds, they slowly pulled away and gazed at the sky. It made him grin bitterly, seeing how lovely blue it was, just like all would be well in the earth.

"Come now" Kai said and pocked his arm. He glanced at Kai and nodded. He felt relieved. Even though some of the bombs had hit close and gotten his ears ring too, Kai looked fine. No blood coming from his ears either. Kai stood up and looked carefully around.

"There is few unexploded ones, but I don't think they are in our way. So let's go see how others are doing." he nodded again and got to his feet. They shook a bit, but still hold him up. Everything just seemed a bit more dangerous and permanent now that Kai had been hurt too. Brian was bad enough,but he had had this stupid idea that Kai was invulnerable, that nothing could get to him. So even though Kai seemed to be just okay with the accident, it had made him realize that there was absolutely nothing secure in the world. They got out of the fox hole, and Kai pointed a direction for them to go. He grabbed Kai's arm

"Let me go first, okay? After all, you are in medication, so your reflexes might be a bit off." they stared each others a while, and then Kai sighed.

"Fine. But be careful, okay?" he gave a tired chuckle

"Of course. What else would I be in these conditions?" Kai nodded silently, and they started working their way through the camp. It was a mess. The tents were hit, some broken and others just completely in smithereens. He gagged when he saw a leg peeking from under one of the collapsed tents. The limb was burn and torn, but still easily recognizable.

"Let's hope he was a corpse already" he said. Kai shrugged.

"I don't think it really make that big difference. Not like he had time to suffer if the bomb killed him" he stared at Kai in shock

"How can you say that?" he swallowed the tears that tried to overcome him "You should know better, know that being exploded is not good way to go". The slow smirk that came to Kai's face froze his heart

"It's not that bad. I would rather be blown to pieces than slowly bleed to death by bullet". He didn't know what to say, so he just turned around, avoiding Kai. He felt cold.

"Please, don't talk like that" he said quietly. He felt Kai stepping closer, wrapping hands around him.

"Sorry." Kai mumbled to his shoulder. "It's just the faster it happens, the better it is, you know that" he let out a quivering breath.

"I know." they just stood there silently for a moment, listening a distant firing. "You think Brian is okay?" Kai gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Your guess is as good as mine. But he was relatively good condition" he tried not to laugh, but couldn't withheld it. Kai pulled away "What's so funny?". He tried to regain control

"Nothing" he gasped "Nothing really. I just thought how twisted it is to say that a guy whose feet is blown off is relatively good condition." he looked at Kai, who was looking at him sadly, but still even his lips were twitching. "And you, who could go deaf at any second, and who is in pain, is in great condition, how's that possible?" his voice broke, and for a moment, Kai glanced down, his shoulders dropping. Then Kai looked back up, with more pained expression than he had ever seen the red eyed man wearing.

"I don't know. And I wish it wouldn't be so" he felt tears starting to fall down against his will. Kai dropped his rifle and grabbed him in tight hug, squeezing him like he feared he would run away, or in attempt to make all the bad things go away. He couldn't tell, and it made him cry harder, while it made him laugh. "Don't. Tala, don't do this." but he couldn't stop. He was too tired, too sore. His legs gave away, and the only thing holding him up was Kai.

"Please tell me this ain't really happening" Kai moved his hand to the back of his head, petting his hear and pressing him tight against his warm neck.

"I can't. I'm sorry". He knew this was breaking Kai, but it was too much, he had seen and done too much to be okay anymore. "I'll get you to doctor, just hold on, okay?" he nodded, even though he didn't want to let go off Kai. To his surprise, Kai just grabbed a good hold of him, lifting him up and starting walking.

Kai found a doctor, who had been looking for injured ones, but there weren't something he could do. Those who had been hit, had been hit well, and then there were just the usual shaken up people.

"He is in a shock. Or possible a mental break down. Either way, he can't go to the lines right now, he could just end up shooting himself or anyone at sight. Danger to himself and others" he could hear doctor saying all this, but he didn't care. He was still clinging to Kai, not wanting to let go of the one last good thing he had. The only good thing he remembered. He looked at Kai after staring a horizon for a moment. He saw how Kai sighed and his lips moved

"Thoughts so. In a way, it is a miracle he has lasted this long..."

"How's so?" Kai shrugged

"He used to be the kind type. And soon after we got here, our best friend was badly injured." he felt doctor's eyes on him and looked at the guy, who was dirty, wrinkled and clearly worn out.

"I know what you mean. It has disabled many men so far." he watched how the two men exchanged glances.

"You were injured earlier, right?" Kai nodded " and with him like this, I guess now you both have tickets to get away from this hell hole." Kai frowned

"But men are needed to the lines" the doctor shrugged.

"Maybe. But only those who are useful, not those who are just hindrances." he watched the staring competition, and was mildly surprised when it was Kai to look away.

"I would lie if I said I wouldn't want to get away. But if the war keeps up, getting away doesn't really mean much, it's the same struggle there." the doctor pondered a while.

"You know, I don't think this will go on for so long. I mean, the media has taken an interest in our situation, and there is a possibility of outside negotiations to help us form peace." Kai looked doubtful.

"I hope you are right. But that would make things easier" the doctor nodded

"So, just take your little fellow home and take care of him. You have done your share, and definitely given all you can" Kai looked at him, and when those burning red eyes met his, he felt warm.

"I love you Kai" he said and snuggled close to Kai, closing his eyes. He was so tired. Before his eyes closed, he saw the doctor smile a little.

"I will get you a lift out, there are supply transport coming, you can get away when it leaves." a hand wrapped around him, holding him close to Kai's body.

"Thanks" he heard Kai say, and then he slipped to sleep, away from the smoke and smell of burnt flesh.

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so, do you need some sort of closure, or are we fine with this? review and let me know. or don't and I probably forget this and move onward. woudl be about time to let go of one story.


	6. Chapter 6

Because it got requested. because there was someone who didn't want this to end quite yet. so those who are happy that there is more of this, thank met. enjoy the randomless. I meant randomness...whatever, choose yourself.

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Chapter VI

Kai was a bit worried because Tala had been out of it the whole drive away from the front lines. Then again, it might have been for the best, because there was a tense moments when enemy's airplanes flew over them, but luckily they weren't targeted. And with a miracle, they made it all the way out of the warzone. He gave out a deep sigh and gave Tala, who was practically sitting in his lap, which of course was merely because there wasn't much space, not because they had something going on. When the car stopped, he waited quietly until someone came to open the clutches on the door. Then he gently shook his redhead

"Come now, we are nearly safe" he whispered into Tala's ear. To his relief, the redhead shivered a little and after blinking, looked at him in the eyes

"I'm so tired.." with that, the blue eyes slid to close and Tala leaned against his chest.

"I know." he muttered "soon you can get a good night's sleep, and there will be no bombings" he mentally thanked the usually fucking politicians for signing the contract that all action against civilians is forbidden. That was the only reason he could promise something like that to his partner. They climbed out of the car, he first and then he partly lifted Tala out. The other was of little help, standing on his feet, but not comprehending anything. He sighed and started to walk Tala to an office that would officially sign them out of the field.

"So" said the tired looking officer behind the table. "I can see that our friend there is completely useless in the field, but give me any reason why should you get out too?" he shrugged.

"Because I am not useful either. With the way my ears are ringing, I could not hear any commands or warnings" the officer shook his head

"Even so, you could still shoot enemies. You could be useful" he tried not to let his eyes narrow.

"The field doctor already tried to send me out of there, saying I would go deaf, but I refused to leave because I couldn't leave my friend alone" the officer leaned back in his chair.

"Surely there is other who could have looked after him if your situation was so bad. Or there should be someone else in there who needs your protection?" he shook his head and glanced at Tala.

"No. I couldn't trust him to no one else. And after the last bombing that made him close up...the comrades I had, they are gone already. Wounded or dead." he said it nonchalantly, but an image of the burnt people in the camp, the sight that had turned Tala into a zombie played in his head. And pictures or Brian getting hurt, as well as those two that had given him the kick to start fighting for real, the blond and the dark guy. Momentarily, he thought if he would see those two somewhere. He heard a deep sigh

"...fine. I didn't think you should go back either, but I have given orders to try to persuade everyone back to the field. I think we should just end this war quickly, even if it means giving something away as a peace offering. That wouldn't cost or hurt as much as getting all of you killed or forever scarred." they were silent for moment, saying something like that was dangerous, it was against the ideology of warfare. They should want to win with whatever cost. "Well, I wish you both good luck, and may heaven grand that this nightmare ends soon" he nodded, stood up and saluted. The officer stood up too and answered the salute. Then he reached a hand to Tala, who looked at his hand, then looked up at him, took the hand and he helped the slim guy up and out of the room.

They sat in a bus towards their home. They had been students, the three of them, living in the same condo to safe some money. Besides, they had always gotten along well, so they didn't fight about stuff even when living under the same roof. He had been looking out of the window, when he felt a soft thump to his side. He looked the other way, and noticed that Tala had fallen asleep, head resting against his shoulder. They had washed up before getting into the bus and now he could really see how much Tala had changed. The guy had lost weight, his cheeks a little sucked in, brow constantly frowned and mouth a stern line. For someone who used to be so cheery, the change was heartbreaking. He carefully reached out a hand, and tried to smooth the lines, but it only wake Tala up with a jump.

"Hey, whoa, easy now,easy, it's just me" he tried to calm the redhead down. The blue eyes were wide and panicked, his breathing was just gasping. "It's okay, just relaxed" it hurt him to see Tala like this, so full of fear and pain. Slowly he moved his hand to Tala's cheek, caressed it gently. First Tala tensed up, then he relaxed and leaned into the touch. Then the redhead closed his blue eyes and he could see tears wetting his lashes through the closed lids. He still very carefully wrapped his hands around his most important person and pulled his against him, trying to squeeze the pain out and pour strength to the slender guy.

"Kai" he heard a soft whisper. He didn't want to get his hopes up that Tala would be back, but his heart was still beating a bit faster.

"Yeah?"

"Do I have to do it again?" he didn't know what Tala was talking about for sure. It could be about killing others. Or seeing death people. Watching a friend getting hurt. Being in the front and dealing with everything you saw or heard.

"I hope not" he couldn't promise. He would really want to, but he wasn't certain, and he if he would give false insurance now, Tala would not trust him later on. And in case they would be summoned back, it would be even harder deal for the redhead to handle. "I really hope not.." he muttered and pulled Tala closer. And to his delight, Tala hugged him back.

"I'm sorry" the redhead mumbled. He sighed and pulled away a bit, then lifting Tala's head up so they were looking each others into the eyes.

"Why? Because you are human and reached your limit? Or because you can feel stuff and was overwhelmed by all the shit you were surrounded?" they stared each others a while, not saying a thing. Then bit by bit, Tala's expression changed into a small smile.

"That's why" the redhead said. He smirked

"You fool. Rest now, there is still a long way to drive before we are back home" Tala nodded, reached up to give him a soft kiss on the lips.

"You are right." then Tala snuggled up to him, closed his eyes, let out a deep breath and closed his eyes, gradually relaxing again. Once he was sure the redhead was asleep, he sighed and secured his arm around the slim body.

"Sleep well" he muttered and closed his eyes. He was tired and so happy that Tala had at least momentarily regained his senses. And no matter what or how long it would take, he would help Tala get over everything. As well as one could get over a war.

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so. that's that for a while again. until later I guess. review if you feel inclined


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for all the reviews along the way. enjoy

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Chapter VII

Tala woke up with a jump. He had no idea where he was. He was surprised to see he was in a bed. What had happened? He recalled being in an air attack, and hearing Kai talking to him. Had he been kidnapped by enemy? Then arms wrapped around him. He freaked out, jerking around, trying to break free.

"Let go!" he screamed and scratched the arms, trying to force the captor to release him

"Tal, easy now, easy" it took a moment to recognize the voice. When he identified it as Kai, he stopped trashing around. His heart was still speeding and his lungs bumped like F1-engine. But gradually he calmed down and relaxed in the embrace.

"Kai" he whispered and leaned his head against Kai's chest. He closed his eyes for a moment, and felt Kai sigh into his hear. The hands hugged him closer, but also loosened the hold a bit so he wasn't held down anymore. He felt something warm against his fingers that were still on Kai's forearms. His eyes snapped open and he looked down "Damn. I'm so sorry" there was cuts in the skin, some blood running out. He felt Kai shrug

"That's fine. Only a little scratch." he tried to wipe the blood away with his hands, but Kai pulled away. "Stupid. Don't mess your hands. I'll go clean it up" Kai let him go and got out of the bed. He pulled his legs against his chest and watched Kai go. Leaning his chin against his knees, he tried to recall what had happened. There was something about a buss. He looked around. It looked like Kai's room. So they were in Kai's room. Meaning they were home and safe? He waited anxiously for Kai to come back. After a long time, Kai finally reappeared and climbed onto the bed. He looked at Kai. There were dark circles around his eyes, and he looked really tired through and through.

"What happened?" Kai closed his eyes and rubbed his temple before answering

"We got discharged." he waited for more.

"It doesn't happen that easily, so tell me" Kai opened his eyes and looked at his eyes.

"You went into a shock state. You were completely out of this world after our medical camp had been blown into smithereens." Silence fall. He thought hard. And bits were coming back. They had hurried out of the tent and into a fox hole. When they had climbed up, the tents were gone. And the smell of burning flesh...he recall walking there, seeing the body..there was a sharp pain to his cheek and he blinked. His cheek was tingling and he glared at Kai.

"What the hell you think you are doing?" he growled. Kai shook his head.

"I called your name and you didn't react. I don't want to loose you anymore. Please, don't slip away anymore" Kai's voice was hoarse, and in the red eyes he was deep pain. He felt his eyes tearing up

"Sorry" he whispered. He couldn't even guess how hard it must has been on Kai. "How many days has it been?" Kai just shook his head, not looking at him anymore "I need to know"

"Five" Kai mumbled. He swallowed. Wow. No wonder he had received a slap. He tried to smile

"Don't worry anymore. I won't leave you again" Kai looked at him, searching his eyes. The stared each others a while and then Kai relaxed a bit.

"Good. And now, do you want to eat something, take a shower, or what?" he cocked his head. He could tell Kai had fed him somehow, since he didn't feel hungry. And they had showered too. But he couldn't stop wanting to wash himself up for after so long.

"Shower would be nice" Kai nodded.

"You need help?" he snorted.

"I think I can manage. Not like I am loosing a leg or something." it was meant as a joke, but after he said it, it brought Brian to his mind. And he could tell by Kai's little flinch it had happened to him too. "Have you seen him?" Kai shook his head

"No. but I know where he is." Kai smirked at him "He would beat me up if I would go there without you" he giggled.

"Can we go see him?" Kai shrugged and yawned

"I think so." he nodded

"I'll go wash up now. You don't need to stay up for me" Kai snorted, clicked table light on on his bedside table and took up some book. He stared at it a while, there was something familiar and homey in that sight. Kai glanced at him.

"There is no rush, but are you sure you want to just stand there drooling?" he closed his mouth and seeing Kai's smirk huffed and went to have the nice hot shower.

He was washing up, checking some scratches and bruises he had, wondering if there would be scars of would all the marks fade away with time. He hoped the wounds in Kai's face would heal completely. Neither of them needed something so visible to remind them of the war. Then he thought about Brian. Compared to him, weren't they lucky. Not much had in the end changed in them. If the mental side wasn't counted. But Brian would have to rearrange everything. Get a prostate. Learn to walk again. It must hurt too. He tried to imagine what it would be like without one leg. Just thinking of it made him feel nausea. He finished washing up, dried up and took some effort to comb his hair. It had knotted a bit, and it took some time to make them silky and flowing again. Once he was done, he put the comb down and looked himself in the mirror. He looked horrible, cheeks caved in and dark lines under his eyes too. His bright blue eyes gave even more contrast to the darkness. He sighed. It would take time to get back to normal. He hoped they would get back to normal with time.

He exited the bathroom after enjoying the luxury of toilet seat. Something he hadn't even realized being so precious before being without it for months. He walked first to his own bedroom door, but then recalled he had no need to be alone and that Kai was actually waiting for him. If he would have to name one good thing about the war, it was getting together with Kai. He smiled to himself and sneaked to Kai's bedroom. After crossing the doorstep he stopped. And smiled softly at Kai, who had anyway fallen asleep, book splayed on his chest, twisting the pages a bit. He knew Kai hated in when the pages are crumbled. So the guy must be really tired. He walked to the bedside, and reached to take the book away. When he is lifting the book, Kai's eyes snap open and a hand closes around his wrist. The red eyes are burning fiercely. When seeing him, Kai flops his head back down to the pillow and let his wrist go.

"Sorry" Kai mumbles and closes his eyes.

"No worries" he says back. He had been startled, but not hurt. "It will take time, won't it?" Kai opens his eyes while he puts the book away.

"Yeah. But we will make it" he looks into the red eyes, that look calm now.

"Sure we will" he smiles down on Kai, who reaches out a hand and gently pulls him onto the bed too. Stretching, he flicks the light off. He searches a good pose at Kai's side, resting his head against Kai's shoulder, taking comfort in hearing his heartbeat and feeling the strong arm wrapped around his hand. Kai plants a little kiss on his forehead and a entwines their fingers together on the hand that he had put on Kai's chest.

"Good night" he says. Kai grunts something and soon his red eyed soldier is fast asleep. Before slipping to sleep too he swears he will not leave Kai to face everything alone like that again.


	8. Chapter 8

this is the last chapter. I hope it manages to wrap things up nicely and grands a satisfying end.

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Chapter 8

In the morning, Tala woke up and felt like a completely new person. For a moment, he didn't recall all that had happened, he just took in the sliver of morning sun that seeped through the curtains watching the dust floating in the ray. He felt good and relaxed and smiled softly at the sight. Then the sound of breathing came into his consciousness. He turned his head in surprise and saw Kai sleeping next to him.

"Wow." he muttered. So his dreams had come true. Kai was right there next to him. Gosh he hoped this was not a dream. Slowly he reached out a hand to touch Kai's cheek. And once there was a contact, Kai's eyes snapped open and there was glint of fear and weariness in the red eyes. For a short moment, he wondered why. And at the same speed as the red eyes relaxed and Kai's expression softened, the memories came back to him. He squinted his eyes shut and the pictures flashed in his head. He felt dizzy. He knew some of the things were things he had earlier refused to remember, things he had acted he didn't saw. He felt a warm hand on his cheek and he opened his eyes to look at Kai, who had lifted his head from the pillow, looking so worried and torn with grief. He took a deep breath in and shakily pulled the hand from his cheek and kissed it.

"It's okay" he whispered, closing his eyes again for a moment. Yes. He remembered. And yes, it was something extremely painful. He opened his eyes once again and smiled through mist. "It's okay" he said again and leaned to kiss Kai on the lips. He could see the uncertainty in the red eyes so he kissed him again. He was still holding onto Kai's hand so he entwined their fingers. "I have you now. So to me, it was worth it" Kai's eyes widened in surprise. Then his expression softened and he sighed.

"You are an idiot, you know that?". He smiled back as an answer. Kai dropped his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. He watched Kai. There was dark circles under his eyes and he had lost weight. He wondered how much of the weariness was caused by him. He knew he had been completely out of it for the last days. And that must have hurt Kai deeply, especially since there had been nothing to do to bring him back. Otherwise Kai would have done it and he would have snapped out of it sooner. He sighed and leaned down too

"I'm sorry" he said. Kai moved a bit and pulled him closer, so his head was resting at Kai's chest.

"You recall what I said about you being an idiot?" he couldn't stop the little giggle. And then he saw Kai's smirk again after so long. "Just start being you again, laugh and be a fool. That will be enough as an apology". They were silent

"You have grown soft". He heard a low growl from Kai's throat and laughed "Don't worry, I will keep your secret" Kai made a sudden attack and pinned him down in the mattress and hovered over him, holding his hands down. He gazed up at Kai expectantly and Kai smirked.

"You have better" then Kai attacked his throat, nibbling and kissing it relentlessly. "But I am not soft" Kai whispered to his ear before sucking his earlobe and making him gasp in pleasure.

They played around a bit, and then they got up. When they were eating Kai said

"Wanna go see Brian today?" he looked up from his plate. He had been completely focused on eating, taking the pleasure of eating indoors, real wood and from proper plates and with normal fork. He was thinking how nice it will be to have a real warm shower and wash himself up for good after so long. So he was a bit stunned by the question.

"'hat?" he asked, without swallowing first. Etiquette had kinda been neglected in the war, so getting to normal habits was a bit odd, since even the most normal things were luxury now. Bed, roof, food that you didn't have to gobble down in five minutes.

"Brian? You want to see?" Kai said slowly like talking to a kid. He glared the guy, who just smirked back.

"Can we? Is it okay?" Kai nodded.

"He is in rehabilitation center now, learning how to walk with artificial leg" he finished his food. And only then he realized that Kai was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing" Kai said and turned away. "I'm ready to go when you are". He took his plate to sink and left it there.

"I'm ready" he said. Kai came back and handed him a jacket.

"Let's go then"

outside, he had to stop. Seeing the people buzzing around, some looking anxious, but there being some chatting happily and looking fine. It was odd. Seeing normal living again. So he just stood there and stared until Kai yanked his to move onward. They walked casually around, and bit by bit he stopped worrying that someone would yell incoming and stuff. He breathed in deeply and sighed smiling.

"It's good to be back" Kai glanced at him and shrugged

"Not bad" he rolled his eyes. But he was happy, Kai was still the same silent type he had always been. Testily he reached out and took Kai's hand in his. Kai looked at him and raised an eyebrow at him. But he just smiled back and squeezed the hand a bit. They hadn't been able to do it before, so he wanted to hold onto Kai's hand. Now when their hands were free. He could see Kai was feeling awkward, but the guy did no effort to free himself, so he figured it was okay to him too.

They reached the center, and they went to the front desk to ask Brian whereabouts. They took the elevator to get into the right floor and then took some time to find the right room. He glanced into the room and saw Brian sitting on a bed.

"Hi there!" he called and stepped into the room. Brian glanced up from a book he had been reading.

"Hi" Brian mumbled, dumbstruck seeing him after so long. He smiled mischievously and walked to the bed. By then, Brian was already grinning at him and looking at him to look at Kai who was walking after him in more neutral way "Man, it's good to see you again!" Brian said "Are you too okay?" he nodded.

"Yup. We got sent home few days ago, but we weren't able to come see you earlier" Brian looked alarmed

"What? Why, what's wrong with you guys" he felt a bit embarrassed, Brian had lost his leg and he was mentally too weak to handle what had happened to him. Then Kai spoke

"Nothing much. I went nearly deaf and the loony nearly lost it" he looked at Kai and frowned. Kai looked back at him sternly "admitting it is easier in the long run. Not like you should keep it a secret" Brian looked between them

"So you two are finally together?" Brian grinned and Kai smirked back, and he was the only one getting embarrassed "Was about the time. I am happy for you" Kai nodded in acknowledgment and he changed the subject

"But how are you doing? The leg, does it hurt?" Brian shrugged

"Not really. There is some ghost pain, but it is more annoying than painful. Learning to walk has been a bit harder, getting a fitting prosthesis has been a bit trickier. But all in all, I am the lucky one"

"No! Don't say that! You lost your leg, there is nothing lucky about that!" Brian shook his head

"You are wrong. Look at you two. It will take time for you to get over what you have done and what you have seen. Me, I got out of there pretty soon, so all I have to deal with is the leg, and with current prosthesis, that ain't bad thing at all, I can live pretty much normal life. I didn't need to see my comrades blow into bits." they were silent. Kai and Brian looked calm, once again talking in their silent macho-smart-ass way. He tried to understand.

"I don't get it" he said quietly. Kai walked to him and put an arm around him

"You don't have to yet. In time you will. Besides, the main point was that Brian doesn't need you to feel pity or quilt about his leg, or about talking of your traumas and memories." Kai was now making him lean against the solid chest. He sighed

"Fine." he muttered, feeling secured in the embraced, like Kai would be his shield against the world.

"Besides," Brian said "no matter what the reason, I am glad you got back when you did. The enemy used some chemical gas that killed many soldiers. Some from their side too. I have been really worried about you two the last couple of days, but I had to trust your luck that you wouldn't be in the worst zone." the room felt colder now, and he shivered in Kai's hold. And Kai hugged him tighter as an answer. Brian shrugged "But it's not only a bad thing. Now the United Nations threat that if the enemy won't pull back, they will bring their troops and weapons here too and then the enemy will be completely wiped away." he felt sick. For what had happened, and the way Brian could casually talk about it. Of course, it was good that it would be over, but still. Anyone who had been in the field longer could imagine what it would really be like in there. He felt Kai shaking slightly too, and he turned his head to look up. Kai was pale, but when the red eyed man noticed he was looking, he forced a smile on his face.

"No, no more that, I don't want to see that" it was the same smile Kai had had in the front lines. In the electrical light, it looked even more forced and it was missing the comforting aspect it had had. He turned around and hugged Kai, pulling the other guy as close as physically possible. And Kai didn't resist, just pressed his face into his hair. He got comfort hearing Kai's heartbeat, and Kai calmed down too. After a while Kai lifted his head up and looked at Brian. Kai was about to say sorry, but Brian just lifted his hand and shook his head.

"Like I said. I am the lucky one. " and now he understood too what Brian had meant and like Kai, realized that Brian was right. He took few more inhales of Kai's scent before pulling away and looking at Brian

"So, when are you getting out of here?" Brian was surprised by the sudden change of topic, but Kai just chuckled. If Kai was still Kai, he was still him too in the core, good at staring conversation to more pleasant tracks.

"Few weeks I think." he nodded

"We will get your room ready at home" Brian looked even more surprised.

"You won't mind me around there?" he glanced at Kai who gave a nonchalant shrug. He smiled at Brian.

"It's fine by us" Brian nodded.

"Thanks. I'll stay until I get my own place. Then you can have the place for you alone" Kai smirked and wrapped arms around him again

"And we will enjoy our privacy until you come back. But you don't need to rush things just for our sake." Brian grinned

"You sure? I imagine you two could have wild times together." Kai's smirk got a twist to it. Plans were clearly forming there. He swatted Kai's hands.

"We are sure. Then we can have fun together again like we used to" Kai gave a strangled snort hearing the start of the sentence, and Brian started laughing. He rolled his eyes for his two friends and laughed too

"Pervs!" he stated and they all laughed. Being home and with friends was great. And having Kai there so close was excellent. In the position they were, he could feel Kai's breathing. He was contempt.

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this is the end. I wouldn't mind reviews so I would know if I failed or nailed or something else. but at least they seem like they will make it.


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